
Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.
This morning I watched Remington Steele while eating Sugar Smacks out of a salad bowl. I was naked.
Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHAZ9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One.
http://twitpic.com/15ox1s-Good news! I can now spend quality time with my vintage '92 Ford Taurus. Bad news-I left yogurt in the trunk.
This is only my 5th tweet and I'm already exhausted. My God, how does Ashton do it?
If anyone's curious what I look like with a beard, it's this ?:^(0) Coincidentally, thats also my ATM pin number.
Apparently unemployment is slowly driving him mad. Good thing he's loaded. Now if only he could do something about that monkey.

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