I hope everyone is having the most awesomest of Christmas ever and getting lots and lots of presents while drinking rum spiced egg nog while resisting the urge to violently murder your entire family. So I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and to celebrate here's my favorite X-Mas song:
Of course I can't forget to include a little Weird Al in my Christmas celebrations:
Keep watching this space.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
This beat was expensive
By far the only reason to watch SNL is for the digital shorts. How sad is it that the funniest bits on a live comedy skit show are the bits that are prerecorded? Oh well, long live the Lonely Island.
And let's not forget to include Jorma and Akiva.
Hey, they have a blog on blogspot and a Grammy nomination with T-Pain. Ahhh, the glories of auto-tune. Keep watching this space.
And let's not forget to include Jorma and Akiva.
Hey, they have a blog on blogspot and a Grammy nomination with T-Pain. Ahhh, the glories of auto-tune. Keep watching this space.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
To the asshole in Hayward, CA
How was your Black Friday? Mine started out decently enough. Sure I had to work the day after Thanksgiving, but that was OK, it allowed me to check out the early sale at Fry's. I even got the chance to enjoy a nice little breakfast at Mickey D's before clocking in at the office. Even better, it was payday. I could pay my bills and have enough left over to stop off at my favorite Comics & Stuff.
That's about the time you entered my life, and Rita informed me that my debit card had declined. There's no way it should have declined. I had used it to check my balance at an ATM not more then 40 minutes earlier, everything was fine. I quickly paid with another card, feeling like some sort of deadbeat as the transaction ran through and quickly headed off to the my local bank.
I was in luck! No one was ahead of me in the drive-thru ATM. Somebody even left their card in the machine, but being the honest good Samaritan that I'am, I promptly took the card out to turn in after I checked the status of my own card. "Transaction unavailable at this time" the screen read. I tried my other card and was greeted with the familiar menu screen. WTF!? I quickly went inside, turned in the card I found and explained the difficulty I was experiencing with my card. The teller told me my card had been deactivated and I would need to speak with a banker. Deactivated? How could that be? Who deactivated it? Why did they deactivate it? What the fuck was going on here? The banker told me there was an alert on my account and after going through a series of phone calls finally reached the right department and handed me the phone and was asked a series of questions regarding my identity and recent purchases, to which I answered; "Yes, I made a purchase at a McDonald's. Yes I also accessed an ATM. NO FUCKING WAY DID I SPEND 200 DOLLARS AT A TARGET IN HAYWARD, CALIFUCKINGFORNIA!!!".
So here we are, I'm waiting for my bank to send me a new debit card and to credit me back my stolen money. I hope you had a wonderful Black Friday and enjoy those two $100 Target gift cards you bought with my debit card info. I don't know how you got it or why the cashier at the Target couldn't be bothered to ask for some I.D. before finalizing the transaction. I do know however, that you are racking up some serious points against you in life, and that this little jaunt into identity theft will eventually catch up with you some day. Hopefully on that day, you'll be with your two hundred pound cellmate, nicknamed 'Dolla' and he'll have his dick so far up your ass that it tickles the back of your throat. Maybe you'll think to yourself, as your poop deck gets swabbed, "I wonder if this is how all those people I stole from felt like when they found out they got robbed?". My answer is "NO!!!", we feel worse asshole! Happy Holidays you prick. I ope 'Dolla' donkey punches your ass.
Keep watching this space.
That's about the time you entered my life, and Rita informed me that my debit card had declined. There's no way it should have declined. I had used it to check my balance at an ATM not more then 40 minutes earlier, everything was fine. I quickly paid with another card, feeling like some sort of deadbeat as the transaction ran through and quickly headed off to the my local bank.
I was in luck! No one was ahead of me in the drive-thru ATM. Somebody even left their card in the machine, but being the honest good Samaritan that I'am, I promptly took the card out to turn in after I checked the status of my own card. "Transaction unavailable at this time" the screen read. I tried my other card and was greeted with the familiar menu screen. WTF!? I quickly went inside, turned in the card I found and explained the difficulty I was experiencing with my card. The teller told me my card had been deactivated and I would need to speak with a banker. Deactivated? How could that be? Who deactivated it? Why did they deactivate it? What the fuck was going on here? The banker told me there was an alert on my account and after going through a series of phone calls finally reached the right department and handed me the phone and was asked a series of questions regarding my identity and recent purchases, to which I answered; "Yes, I made a purchase at a McDonald's. Yes I also accessed an ATM. NO FUCKING WAY DID I SPEND 200 DOLLARS AT A TARGET IN HAYWARD, CALIFUCKINGFORNIA!!!".
So here we are, I'm waiting for my bank to send me a new debit card and to credit me back my stolen money. I hope you had a wonderful Black Friday and enjoy those two $100 Target gift cards you bought with my debit card info. I don't know how you got it or why the cashier at the Target couldn't be bothered to ask for some I.D. before finalizing the transaction. I do know however, that you are racking up some serious points against you in life, and that this little jaunt into identity theft will eventually catch up with you some day. Hopefully on that day, you'll be with your two hundred pound cellmate, nicknamed 'Dolla' and he'll have his dick so far up your ass that it tickles the back of your throat. Maybe you'll think to yourself, as your poop deck gets swabbed, "I wonder if this is how all those people I stole from felt like when they found out they got robbed?". My answer is "NO!!!", we feel worse asshole! Happy Holidays you prick. I ope 'Dolla' donkey punches your ass.
Keep watching this space.
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