I can't believe he at the whole thing

Barney is training to become a professional sword swallower. He swallowed a needle and thread last night. Guess who had to pull it out of his butt this morning. Not me. Sometimes it pays to have a wife. Keep watching this space.

He gambled and lost

Sometimes I think teachers, for all their complaining about how hard and time consuming their jobs are, have it incredibly easy. They only work about 185 days a year and basically get paid to play games, albeit educational games, with kids. Then there are those times when my wife tells me a story like the one she told me today that makes me glad I'm stuck in an office most of the day.

She was teaching a kindergarten class when a boy comes up to her and whispers something. She asked him to repeat what he said twice because she couldn't understand what he was saying. "Ms. Duty, I pooped my pants. I thought I had to fart but pooped instead." I like to think his face looked like Renee's, in the previous post, right when he realized that he had just sharted.

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BEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!

Keep watching this space. But you might want to do it with your eyes closed.

To twit or not to twit

Every time you log onto twitter it has a question on there that is supposed to help get you started. "What are you doing right now?" What the hell do you think I'm doing right now? I'm wasting time on twitter. Its always the same question, so technically shouldn't it be the same answer every time? This is what happens when there's no football on TV. Keep watching this space.

Nothing New

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BLOGGING IS HARD

It takes a special kind of person to waste their time writing pointless stuff on the web. I usually call those people dorks. I started this blog one night because I was bored and curious as to how to make one. I'm not so curious now but I'm still bored. Oh well, I guess I'm off to the Cheesecake Factory for my wife's birthday now. Keep watching this space.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Okay, so I'm a day late. Those damn Lee's kept filling my gullet with copious amounts of the demon alcohol. I needed a day to recover. Anyway, here's to a year of happiness and joy to all. Except to the Lee's and their demon spawn. Keep watching this space.