Holy days are here again

Wow!!! Two holy fathers for the price of one! Maybe the guy in the next story can go to the papal tumor for help in getting his prayers answered.

Now I know what God is doing when the Raiders are playing. Keep watching this space.

That boy ain't right.

While I'm happy that the Raiders were able to squeak out a win against the Chiefs today, I'm also a little sad that last Sunday saw the last new episode ever of King of the Hill. I know most people find Hank and company dull, heck its hard to compete against the Simpsons' zaniness and Family Guy's insanity, but King of the Hill was one of the most consistent shows on Fox's Sunday night line up. I don't think any other cast of cartoon characters on a prime time show have ever shown the kind of character development and growth that King of the Hill has. I know most people will say that Mike Judge's greatest creations are Beavis and Butthead or Office Space, and while I hold an affection for those two pieces of Americana, I think it will be King of the Hill that will be remembered 50 years from now.

But for now I'm left with a sadness and sense of joy at the passing of this great Sunday night institution. 13 seasons is a heck of a run and I'm glad Fox was gracious enough to give them a proper series finale, unlike the stabbing in the back that Futurama got. So here's to you Hank, Peggy, Bobby, Luann, Dale, Bill, Boomhauer, Kahn, Minh, Connie, Joseph, Nancy, John Redcorn, and the rest of a cast of characters who have helped make Sunday night one of my favorites. You will be missed.

Keep watching this space.

Best BertDay weekend ever

My actual birthday on Saturday kind of sucked until I got to go hang out with some friends over at the Brewhouse. Up until that point I pretty much did nothing except play my new Xbox game, which I purchased that day, and snack at Arby's. I hate it when my wife has to work all day and I can't hang out with her. I really am lost without her. Anyways after we left the Brewhouse, she kept asking what I wanted to do for the rest of my "BertDay" weekend. I kept saying my usual "I dunno...whatever you want.", which is my usual response to the "Whatta ya wanna do?" questions. So what does she do? Produces two tickets to Monty Python's Spamalot. So we went to the last showing last night at the Civic Center and it was AWESOME! If you're a fan of all things Python, go see Spamalot if you get the chance. By far the best musical ever written by, for, and about møøse. If your not a fan of all things Python, then screw you, go see it anyway.



You can bet I'll be humming this all season as Al Davis continues to draw breath.

Keep watching this space.

Happy Bertday to me

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Dog days of summer

I continue to be jealous of Barney. It must be great to be a dog, or at least a dog with a loving home. Your every whim is catered to, you have no responsibilities, you can even lick yourself in front of people and not care one whit what they think. The only time Barney shows any sort of shame and embarrassment is when he drops a deuce.

I'm convinced my dogs memory only goes back to right after his last poop. Every time he gets the same look of horror and shame. You can almost hear him thinking "Whats happening? What is this? Why are you looking at me? STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!", all the while he looks away in shame. Once done, it just a quick kick of the grass and his dirty shameful deed is over and forgotten.

That reminds me of one more wonderful thing about being a dog, you don't clean up after yourself. Just imagine your whole life you are basically treated to maid service. Get dirty, someone washes you. Lay down some "rope", someone with a bag on their hand whisks it away. Spill your food, forget the 5 second rule, you can finish it at your leisure or let the bipeds pick it up and replace it with fresher tastier food. You are the king of the world and everyone else is just a servant to attend to your needs and desires.

Yes sir, life is awesome for the family dog. That is until the short female biped goes and says "I think it time to chop his nuts off." Your wonderful little family member who gives you so much love, joy, and attention in life, just sits there staring up at the little woman; and you're sure you can almost hear him think "Bitch". Keep watching this space.

Alan Moore and Frank Miller killed the comic book industry

***WARNING: Long disjointed screed follows. Continue at your own risk***

I'm actually quite excited by the recent news of Disney buying Marvel for $4 billion, which you can read all about here. Not because I own stock in both companies, hell I was going to buy more Marvel stock before the news of the sale broke, but because the sale of the House of Ideas to the House of Mouse means that all my favorite Marvel characters will still be around in some form hundreds of years from now.

Most people aren't aware at how close Marvel came to folding up shop back in the nineties when the comic book market exploded under its own weight and greedy speculators caused companies to make some really bad decisions. Wikipedia has a nice brief description of the debacle of the nineties. I remember when Marvel went bankrupt and seeing the price of their stock fall to 35 cents a share. I was going to use my credit card to buy $1000 dollars worth of stock, thinking there was no way Marvel was going to go away, but ultimately pussied out. Ultimately Disney is going to pay $50 per share when the deal for the buyout goes through. If I went through with my original plan, I would have made around $140 thousand. Oh well, the stock market is full of Monday morning quarterbacks.

So why do I think Alan Moore and Frank Miller have killed the comic industry? Both are perhaps two of the greatest comic creators to have ever come out of the eighties. Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns are regarded as milestones in comic literature. Time magazine even listed Watchmen in their top 100 Novels of the 2oth Century. Their works have gone on to influence a whole slew of artists and writers like Warren Ellis, Brian Michael Bendis, Garth Ennis, and Grant Morrison. Moore and Miller can be credited to making comic books leave behind the childhood fantasies of the past and finally grow up. That is the problem with the industry today.

What makes Disney so successful? Why do children and adults flock to every new Pixar movie? The answer is incredibly simple and something the modern comic book industry has seem to have forgotten; "ALL OF DISNEY'S MOST SUCCESSFUL MOVIES CONTAIN SOMETHING FOR BOTH KIDS AND ADULTS".

Go look at a comic from the sixties and compare it to today's books. Sure your going to get deep social commentary from books like the X-Men or tragic love stories in books like Amazing Spider-Man, but you are also going to get fast paced action stories that children can read without knowing or ever hearing anything about Plato or Nietzsche. Sexual tension took a back seat to action and pacing and the average story arc was about 2 books long. Dialogue was limited and simplified so it never felt as though you had to learn to read Shakespeare, even though Shakespearean themes were common in most of the popular books. In short comics, used to be quick cheap thrills that would help millions escape into an exciting world of adventure. Many of today's comics feel like overpriced four colored versions of Joyce's Ulysses.

I have no problem with adult themes in comics but sometimes it gets to be too much. Daredevil is a good example of this. While the adult in me enjoys the more serious tone found in today's Daredevil, I often find my self getting impatient with the pacing, waiting for DD to finally beat the snot out of the villain. Often times the fight is limited to a few panels. Daredevil has gone from being a colorful fun read to a dreary labor. Seriously, why do all the books have to feel so depressing and long? Why does it take the Punisher six issues to take out one mob boss? Why is Peter Parker getting drunk and having one night stands? Why is this stuff $4 dollars? Why is the average comic fan in their 30s?

People often point to the popularity of video games and movies as to why kids seem to be fleeing comic stores. Why read a story when you can watch it on a brightly colored monitor or 30 foot screen? While the addictiveness of video games factors in the the decline of comic book popularity with children it doesn't explain the popularity of Harry Potter . Kids will obviously read something as long as its easy to understand and it deals in simple themes they can relate to. Modern day comics are pretty much incomprehensible to kids under the age of 14. You cannot tell me a ten year old is going to understand the current plot of Daredevil or DC'sFinal Crisis, let alone afford to buy them. Yet, they still devour the Potter books, the Inkheart books, or the countless other children's books that are coming to a theater near you.

So is Disney going to help? Yes, they have the resources to increase Marvel's already impressive market share. Will they change the way Marvel tells stories in their most popular books? Probably. Look, there is no reason the mainstream books can't become more kid friendly while maintaining appeal for adults. DC comics seems to manage do this fairly consistently, the Blackest Night storyline that is currently going through the Green Lantern books takes me back to a simpler time when comics where just plain fun. Will the Punisher get a fresh faced, snot-nosed young punk kid sidekick? No, or at least not in the books geared explicitly towards adults. There is plenty of room for kids books and and adult books in the world of comics. However, I find this trend of having comics appeal more towards adults, instead of striking a balance between kid sensibilities and adult attitudes, does nothing but drive kids away from the wonders of the four colored world and towards the easy allure of the digital world. Hopefully, Disney can help Marvel return more towards their roots and finally make comics fun for all ages again.

Until Hannah Montana get bit by a radioactive spider make mine Marvel. Excelsior.

Keep watching this space.