Dog days of summer

I continue to be jealous of Barney. It must be great to be a dog, or at least a dog with a loving home. Your every whim is catered to, you have no responsibilities, you can even lick yourself in front of people and not care one whit what they think. The only time Barney shows any sort of shame and embarrassment is when he drops a deuce.

I'm convinced my dogs memory only goes back to right after his last poop. Every time he gets the same look of horror and shame. You can almost hear him thinking "Whats happening? What is this? Why are you looking at me? STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!", all the while he looks away in shame. Once done, it just a quick kick of the grass and his dirty shameful deed is over and forgotten.

That reminds me of one more wonderful thing about being a dog, you don't clean up after yourself. Just imagine your whole life you are basically treated to maid service. Get dirty, someone washes you. Lay down some "rope", someone with a bag on their hand whisks it away. Spill your food, forget the 5 second rule, you can finish it at your leisure or let the bipeds pick it up and replace it with fresher tastier food. You are the king of the world and everyone else is just a servant to attend to your needs and desires.

Yes sir, life is awesome for the family dog. That is until the short female biped goes and says "I think it time to chop his nuts off." Your wonderful little family member who gives you so much love, joy, and attention in life, just sits there staring up at the little woman; and you're sure you can almost hear him think "Bitch". Keep watching this space.