The origins of Bert

Today at work people kept asking me why all my friends and family refer to me as "Bert". Is my middle name Bert? Was I obsessed with Bert from Sesame? Am I touched in the head? All valid questions, well maybe not that last one, but the point is I get asked these questions a lot. My answer is I have no idea when and where it started. All I know is that my friend from high school Tim is the one who passed the name along to everyone else, like herpes. Not to say that Tim had herpes, its just a metaphor that...never mind, the point is he is the one that popularized the name and it has stuck since high school.

I do have one theory about the name's origin. The Disney channel used to show the things called cartoons, you know before all the Hanna Montana's Suite Life with Wizards of High School Musical crap that they now show ad nauseum . Anyway, one of the short toons they would air between shows was "Lambert the Sheepish Lion" and since my last name happens to be Lamb it was a simple way to make fun of my name. Problem is it never really bothered me. I pretty much can handle name calling and usually was able get back at bullies, typically by kicking them in the nuts and running away like a little school girl, but I digress. I guess Tim really liked the cartoon but it took too long to say the name and he liked calling over to me by going "BERTBERTBERT" which got further shrunk to just Bert.

Of course I have fully embraced the nickname, all my in-laws refer to me as Bert and it is very discomforting any time they say my real name. Even my mom will sometimes refer to me as Bert. So feel free to call me Bert, Bertrude, Berticus, or Mr. Most Awesomest Monkey Fighting Bad Ass That Has or Ever Will Lived.

One more thing. Every time I mention the cartoon, people look at me as if I just crapped on their chest. Apparently no one has ever watched cartoons, the Disney Channel, or have had their minds wiped in an insidious plot to make me look ridiculous. Well, since a man in my position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous and thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I give you from 1952 the academy award nominated short Lambert the Sheepish Lion:



Keep watching this space.