It was the one thing we were worried about most when we brought Dean Christopher home; Barney. For two years Barney has been our spoiled furry child and we were worried that he would view Dean as competition for our affection. My mom tried to convince us that Barney was going to pee on the baby because he wasn't fixed. Seriously, what is with women always trying to convince men that we have to get rid our dogs nuts?
Anyway, the fateful day came in which Barney finally met Dean. We had been psychologically preparing ourselves throughout the pregnancy for this moment. We watched Cesar Millan. We watched Its me or the Dog. We even asked friends who had dogs and kids. We felt that we were prepared.
My wife went through the door first while I stayed back holding him in his car seat. Barney jumped all over my wife, excited that she was finally home after being gone three days. Then I came in with the the boy in the car seat and what happened next will haunt me till my dying day.
Barn jumped on me, causing me to lose my grip on the car seat. The harness holding DC snapped and he came spilling out onto the cold tile floor, screaming like a stuck pig. My wife tried in vain to quickly scoop him up but it was too late, Barney had his mouth wrapped around the top of Dean's head and shook violently, causing a wicked gash to form on his scalp. The family was screaming as the blood pooled on the the once pristine floor. The final indignity was when Barney lifted his leg in victory and peed on the screaming writhing child.
And that was how Barney met Dean Christopher. Either that or Barney licked Dean excessively trying to grab the beanie from his head before getting bored and slightly annoyed by the new hairless pink dog and demanding me to take him out.
Whichever way it happened, we remain a nice big happy family, even though I'm still convinced that Barney is figuring out a way to eat the child, just so he can get a decent nights sleep.
Keep watching this space or Ruffis will eat this child.
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